Questioning God

Lately I have been going through some really hard times in a certain area of my life. Dion and most of my family know exactly what it is, but for my blog, I'll just leave it un-spoken. During this time, I really have been so angry at God and really questioning God. I have gone through many stages during this time and thought I'd share.

At first I was so angry at God. I did not want to talk to Him, I did not want to even put Christian music on. In my opinion, I don't think there is anything wrong with being angry with God or questioning Him. We get angry with every relationship in our lives, why would our relationship with God be any different? We get angry with our spouses, families, and friends, and then we grow from that. If I never got angry with God or I never questioned Him, I honestly feel my relationship with Him would not grow.

I recently have been reading a lot of the book of Job. If there is one Bible character I can relate with lately, it's definitely Job. Job was pushed to the limit, at the hand of Satan, but at the time he blamed God. Which is exactly what I have been doing lately, and which is exactly what Satan wants. In chapter 7 of Job this verse has been me lately:

"I cannot keep from speaking. I must express my anguish. My bitter soul must complain." (Job 7:11)

All I have been wanting to do is blame someone, cry about it, or just shut God out. 

I need to realize that the circumstances in my life are not because God is punishing me or because God is cruel, I need to realize it's not God at all. It's not easy, and it won't be easy. There are going to be days when I question God and get angry with Him because of this trial. But I still need Him, because without Him, this certain circumstance will over take me. 

So for now, I'll just rest in this verse:

Isaiah 55:8-9

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says theLord.
    “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.
⁹ For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so my ways are higher than your ways
    and my thoughts higher than your thoughts."

This song has been me lately! Thanks to my sis, Ciaara, for sending it to me!! (Just click the link)

Take Me to the King