I know what some of you are thinking, "Why is she doing this? Some things need to be kept private." Here's my answer to that- I know way too many people who are struggling with infertility and I know just how dark and lonely keeping it hidden makes someone feel. Now obviously I am not going to go into details that I nor my husband want out there, but I do believe that writing helps. And I also believe hearing about other people going through the same thing as you are, makes you feel less alone.
I have found some hope lately. Dion and I were supposed to go to The Institute for Reproduction in December, we had an appointment and everything. I decided to cancel it. I don't know if it was that I thought they would take my last piece of hope that one day we would have kids, or that I just didn't feel like going to another doctor because at this time we had already gotten bad news from two doctors.
Then March and April came, my sister and sister in law welcomed in two beautiful new babies. I was and still am SO happy for them. But it was a difficult time for me, so instead of being super upset I decided we were finally going to go to the doctor. So we went to our first appointment, and I loved the doctor. He told us some great stuff, and already put a plan into action for what we are going to do.
I wanted to write this first post about the beginning of our journey, but I want to remember (if I ever feel hopeless over this situation which I am sure I will) this feeling of hope. The feeling that I am finally seeing God work for us, not that He hasn't been, I've just been too blind to my own life to see Him. This journey won't be easy, and I probably will lose hope on a regular basis, but it is a start. We are finally starting this journey, who knows where it will lead us, but I do know who I've got by my side.
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